A good friend asked me today, "How's
life?" He said I had probably written about it on Lucid Confusion and he just missed
it because he hasn't been around much. Well, y'know, actually I haven't. In fact,
I've hardly said anything about myself in weeks. So, to answer my friend's question
very simply, life has been quite good for me lately. Let's talk about why.
After a nearly year long struggle
searching for the correct anti-depressant medication for me, I finally settled on
Wellbutrin about two months ago. The first benefit was it didn't hurt me physically like
so many of the other failures I elaborated about ad nauseum all winter and spring. It
is also genuinely helping the depression. My energy level has steadily increased. My
normally optimistic outlook on life has finally returned, and I've learned how to smile
and be happy again. Seems silly I know, but believe me when I tell you, depression
sucks royally.
The situation with the end of my
career has improved. Yes, I'm still having to work out the string at the merged company.
Yes, it is still boring as can be because there isn't much to do, and yes, I will find
myself out of work sometime in the next six months. The good news is I now have more
control over when that will occur. My fate is back in my own hands rather than under
the thumb of others. That simple change has made an enormous difference in my options,
and my attitude.
I had a wonderful vacation with my
family in Alaska. It boosted my spirit tremendously. I vowed to stop smoking on August
9th and have so far remained true to myself in that regard. People are wonderful. Folks
I have known for years, new friends, even people I've never encountered before have been
very kind to me. It helps. It helps to know I'm not fighting the battles with myself, by
myself. There are many huge changes still ahead of me, but I am better prepared
physically, mentally, and spiritually to tackle the remaining challenges. So, to answer
my friend, today has been a good day. Life is pretty darn good just for today. Isn't
that all that really matters?
